Agamenon: O MECANISMO – NOS INTESTINOS DO PODER

É muito complicado entender este país. Para explicar o Brasil, temos que recorrer a metáforas, analogias, complicados desenhos esquemáticos e até mesmo a séries da Netflix.

Em mais uma tentativa vã, inútil e infrutífera de entender a nossa realidade (dada a incapacidade intelectual dos meus 17 leitores e meio), desta vez vou comparar o Brasil a um organismo humano. Se é que existe qualquer coisa de humano neste país.

O problema do Brasil é fisiológico. Para ser mais exato, do aparelho digestivo. O fenômeno da digestão no Brasil ocorre nos três poderes: no Executivo, no Legislativo e, por último, no Judiciário. Seriam como o duodeno, o mesentério e o cólon retal. Os três atuam de forma unívoca, conjunta e harmônica com um único e exclusivo objetivo: fazer mer%ˆ&*%$#da, compor o bolo fecal, construir os coprólitos, que, tal e qual tijolos, vão edificando em camadas a ordem constitucional brasileira.

Em outras circunstâncias, mais heterodoxas, o aparelho gastroinstitucional é utilizado na contramão, ou seja, iniciando-se no reto na direção do intestino grosso, quer dizer, do Executivo, desta vez com o objetivo de fo&**ˆ%%der com o povo brasileiro. Essa prática política sodomita, muito embora condenada pela Igreja Católica, é adotada com entusiasmo por membros dos três poderes que, para tanto, usam a prerrogativa do “furo privilegiado”.

Entretanto, data máxima venérea, desta vez o STF (Supremo Tribunal Furicular) foi longe demais. Os nossos magistrados, togando e andando para a opinião púbica, acabaram provocando uma incontrolável diarreia jurídica: soltaram o Maluf, soltaram o Piccianni e querem soltar o Lula.

Na verdade, os supremos magistrados estão querendo livrar o ex-presidente Luiz Inácio Lalau da Silva da prisão de ventre domiciliar, à qual já foi condenado em segunda instância. Para isso, querem julgar semana que vem um Habeas Porcus, que, modus in rabus, se for aprovado, vai criar uma nova jurisimprudência, soltando 90% da bandidagem trancada nas cadeias dos país.

Ao povo brasileiro, perdido no meio de tanta impunidade, violência e corrupção, só vai restar uma alternativa: pedir para ser preso. Só mesmo trancado numa penitenciária de segurança máxima o cidadão honesto e pacífico vai ter tranquilidade suficiente para poder continuar trabalhando feito um burro para pagar os seus impostos em dia.

Agamenon Mendes Pedreira é adevogado do Diabo junto com o Dr. Kakay.

Depois de levar pedradas, ovos e tiros, a caravana do Lula vai pedir a intervenção do Exército para circular pelo país.

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Tempo de publicação: 4 minutos

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  1. Cansei disse:

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Ler comentários
  1. alfredo disse:

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  2. Aedes disse:

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  3. CWB disse:

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  4. UPDATE: disse:

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  5. Fabi disse:

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  6. [Jack@Sparrow disse:

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  7. Brasileiro disse:

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  8. Borges. disse:

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  9. MAFRA disse:

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  10. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA disse:

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  11. Nathan disse:

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    1. T3MgcG9icmVzIGNhbWVsb3Mgc29tb3MgbvNzLCBxdWUgY2FycmVnYW1vcyBubyBsb21ibyBvcyAzIHBvZGVyZXMgZGUgc29sIGEgc29sLi4u

  12. Luiz disse:

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  13. Nelson disse:

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  14. arthur disse:

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  15. Jorge disse:

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  16. Joseense disse:

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  17. Cesar disse:

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  18. GUILHOTINA disse:

    RXhhdGFtZW50ZSBhc3NpbSBBZ2FtZW5vbi4uLiDpIHRyaXN0ZSBzZXIg4SBzb2xpdOFyaWEgZGVzc2UgaW50ZXN0aW5vIGRvZW50ZS4uLg==

  19. Os disse:

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  20. Jorge disse:

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  21. He-Man disse:

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    1. cmVmbGV0ZSBiZW0gbyBzZW50aW1lbnRvIGdlcmFsIGRlIG5vc290cm9zLg==

  22. leonardo disse:

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  23. Arquibaldo disse:

    QWdhbWVub24sIGN1aWRhZG8uIE8gQmVp529sYSwgYWdvcmEgcXVlIHRlcuEgcXVlIHByZXN0YXIgY29udGFzIHNvYnJlIG8gcHJl528gZGFzIHBhc3NhZ2VucyBwYXJhIFBvcnR1Z2FsLCB2aXZlIOBzIGN1c3RhcyBkb3MgcHJvY2Vzc29zIHF1ZSBhYnJlIGNvbnRyYSBhcXVlbGVzIHF1ZSBkZWZsb3JhbSBzZXVzIGludGVzdGlub3Mh

  24. Laura disse:

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  25. Lili disse:

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  26. Disqus disse:

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  27. luizs disse:

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  28. leli disse:

    UXVlbSBmb2kgcXVlIHBxcCBwYXJpdSwgZGlnbyBkZWZlY291IGVzc2VzIDMgcG9kZXJlcz8uLi4gc/MgcmluZG8gbWVzbW8sIG9icmlnYWRhIG11aXRvIGJvbSBtZXNtby4uLg==

  29. Ana disse:

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  30. luiz disse:

    b2JyaWdhZG8gQWdhbWVub24uIEJyaWxoYW50ZS4NCg0KZXN0YSB2YWkgcGFyYSBvcyBsaXZyb3MgZGUgaGlzdPNyaWE6ICJPcyB0cupzIGF0dWFtIGRlIGZvcm1hIHVu7XZvY2EsIGNvbmp1bnRhIGUgaGFybfRuaWNhIGNvbSB1bSD6bmljbyBlIGV4Y2x1c2l2byBvYmpldGl2bzogZmF6ZXIgbWVyJT8mYW1wOyolJCNkYSwuLi4i

  31. pixuleco disse:

    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

  32. Kkkk disse:

    TXVpdG8gYm9tLiBMZW1icmVpIGRvcyBjb3F1ZXTpaXMgcHVwdXRvdiB2ZW5lenVlbGFub3Mu

    1. cXXjbyBtaXNlcuF2ZWwgIGRldmUgc2VyIGEgc3VhIHZpZGEgIC4uLi4u

  33. Viviane disse:

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  34. Ida disse:

    UGVyZmVpdG8gQWdhbWVub24NClBhcmFi6W5zIEFudGFnb25pc3RhIHBlbG8gdGV4dG8gYnJpbGhhbnRlIHJlY2hlYWRvIGRlIHZlcmRhZGUgaXL0bmljYS4NCkFkb3JlaQ==

  35. aparecido disse:

    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

  36. Guoor disse:

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  37. Caravana disse:

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  38. aparecido disse:

    TWVsaG9yb3UgYSBkaWV0YSBkb2FzIHBldHJhbGhhcy4uLmFnb3JhIOkgbW9ydGFkZWxhIGNvbSBvdm8gZSBiYWxpbmhhcyBkZSBzb2JyZW1lc2EuLi5zZSBiZW0gcXVlIGFzIGJhbGluaGFzIGZvcmFtIHBhdHJvY2luYWRhcyBwb3IgZWxlcyBtZXNtb3MuLi4=

  39. LULA disse:

    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